Spoilers ahead for the fifth episode of Utopia’s fifth season, titled “Lights, Camera, Inaction”.
It’s time for the NBA to TikTalk about TikTok, with the authority getting on the app. The episode must have been filmed before every government in Australia banned the social media app on work phones.
The episode opens with the minister proudly showing NBA CEO Tony his big new idea — Hollywood Down Under.
It hits all his priorities — jobs and regional development. The arts? Maybe not so much.
One roadblock: Tony wants to review the figures and do that pesky due diligence.
Government liaison Jim has popped into Nat’s office with an issue that’s nothing to do with infrastructure: UNESCO is about to release a report labelling the Great Barrier Reef “in danger”. Jim’s made it Nat’s problem, even though that’s not her area.
Jim’s also dealing with a new phone that is messing with autocorrect — this gives us a sneak peek at his take on AUKUS, which is in his notes as “August thumbs down emoji”.
Rhonda’s mulling over what the government has already done to save the reef — thrown money around, lobbied, called in favours, threaten some of the weaker delegates. Strangely, that’s not worked.
Tony’s in the office kitchen, witnessing Courtney make “a day in the life” TikTok with Scott. Tony’s skeptical of the whole thing, but listen — #dayinmylife on TikTok has 40.2 billion views at the time of writing. Scott knows what he’s doing.
Linda From Diversity and Inclusion is being assisted by Brian with an audit of Tony’s office artwork. There are no complaints per se, but there is a danger the artwork could be perceived as all male, elitist, white, upper class.
Considering it’s a picture of a rowing team, its blandness is the most offensive thing about it.
Tony tells the minister #Aussiewood needs to slow way down, stop even; it’s all seeming rather lopsided to the bureaucrat with Australia taking on all of the risk.
Instantly, the minister goes silent. He was not a fan of being told no to his big idea. Brrrrr.
Nat starts a video call with UNESCO’s Olaf Olafson (something Jim and Rhonda never considered) — with some technical issues.
The Norwegian repeatedly named man tells them they need effective measures, not just window dressing. Surely, that’ll be smooth sailing.
Tony’s surprised to learn the Courtney TikTok hit 3,000 likes (again, the hashtag has 40.2 billion views). The only issue is, none of the comments seem to indicate it’s doing anything about NBA recruitment.
The NBA CEO tells Jim he’s concerned about the #Aussiewood deal — millions would go to Hollywood, leaving Australia with two days of good press and all the risk. He can’t seem to get a reply from the minister.
Nat’s talking to Jim and Rhonda about Olaf — they have to act fast, or it will get worse.
“Worse than Eurovision,” Rhonda says.
Effective measures like no longer clearing land and stopping commercial shipping are ruled out almost immediately by Rhonda and Jim.
Tony’s still not heard back from the minister — they’ve been put in the freezer. Tony predicts he’ll hear from the minister when it all goes belly up. Folks, that’s called foreshadowing.
Nat and Ash have travelled up to Cairns to talk to the Great Barrier Reef Management Authority. After all, they’re here to keep the government happy.
The GBRMA official is more than happy to list off what’s changed — they’ve got more staff, a bigger office, even a tricked-out new boat. Nothing about helping the reef through.
Tony’s still having trouble getting a reply from the minister but he’s been roped into making a TikTok. He’s a natural, reading off cue cards.
Nat’s trying to work out what effective measures the government can actually implement to respond to this UNESCO report.
Smart coral from the CSIRO is an option, although no one knows what that means.
Jim and Rhona are trying to throw money at the problem. They’ve run out of foundations until they locate Rescue the Reef — looks like it’s getting $250 million.
Nat’s the only one to suggest they actually chat to the not-for-profit.
Meanwhile, Tony’s been memed on TikTok by some influencer (it’s called “stitching” on TikTok btw). The minister will be coming into the office now — but to film a TikTok.
Nat’s investigation into Rescue the Reef reveals it’s a school project by two schoolchildren. Jim and Rhonda see no issue with giving them funding.
Tony’s finally gotten an approved artwork — it’s approved by Linda, printed on sustainable paper. One problem — it’s a bit, um, er, sexual.
News breaks: two schoolchildren (I wonder who?) are protesting #Aussiewood — it’s endangering the mangroves.
Now there’s a problem, the minister gets in touch with Tony.
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