Spoilers ahead for this recap of the second episode of Utopia’s fifth season.
Titled “Grand Designs”, season 5 episode 2 saw the Nation Building Authority team grapple with a failed solar scheme program, a statue’s sign roadblock, comedy show recommendations, and a chatty colleague.
The show opens with the ad for the Solar Scheme Program, boasting to be as simple as 1, 2, 3. It even comes with its own mascot, Cluey (surely a homage to the iconic Bluey?).
However, fast-forward three months, the scheme’s copping heat in the media, with NBA CEO Tony shouldering the blame.
The NBA should not have chosen a dog for a mascot; the media’s having a field day with puns. Someone’s done a cartoon of Tony being led by Cluey as a guide dog.
Tony’s personal assistant, Katie, is trying to help keep him calm by changing the background on his computer to pastels — all unnecessary, he assures her.
Throughout the episode, Patrick insists on taking up his colleagues’ time by talking their ears off about just about everything — his recent holiday, his granddaughter and an overly long story about a tomato.
Meanwhile, PR guru Rhonda is looking for better media coverage and has COO Nat and her 2IC Ash onto a bypass in Queensland.
Rhonda thinks it’s a perfect time to launch a highway (it’s a bypass), on time (it’s 18 months late) and under budget (also not true).
Nat and Ash discover everything appears to be in order for the bypass to go ahead — except for an issue from the NTSRG (National Tourism Signage Reference Group).
Back at the office, government liaison Jim walks in with a copy of The Australian on this solar scheme.
Tony is quick to point out the program was fast-tracked by Jim’s lot, while Jim says there will either be an inquiry or a royal commission.
The office has a meeting outside so Tony can soak up some Vitamin D (Katie says it’s good for stress), only for it to get interrupted by a leafblower.
A trip to the good folks at the NTSRG reveals the hold-up is a historic monument sign, pointing to a statue of Sir Stanford Wessells astride his horse.
The problem? Sir Stanford is too obscure, so they’re unsure whether he’s problematic. The NTSRG does not want to point to a statute of someone with skeletons in their closet.
Good news for Tony as well — the minister’s released a statement on the solar panel scheme’s scandal and he’s managed to mention Tony no less than five times in it.
What Tony does discover, however, is that the scheme had a less than 1% take-up of it. Something could be wrong with the implementation.
Applying for the scheme is not as simple as 1, 2, 3 — clicking on the eligibility button on the website only makes Cluey woof over and over again.
Brian offers to take Tony finishing on a men’s retreat to help him out, which he was put up to by Katie.
Nat manages to track down a Sir Stanford expert. On the plus side, he and his stallion were much beloved by the town, financing new schools and churches along his route.
The negative? Turns out he was an alcoholic who went to jail for fraud and married his 16-year-old housekeeper.
Sir Stanford also took a great interest in First Nations people. So much so, he collected hundreds of artefacts that have ended up in London.
Tony and his project assistant Scott test out the solar scheme by signing Tony up for it but are hit with stumbling blocks — they need his Medicare card, his driver’s license, his passport, and a photo of him with a neutral expression.
And all to be done before the session expires.
Nat comes up with an idea to deal with the statue — put a plaque up explaining the historical context around the drunk Wessells.
The mayor agrees, having previously rejected the idea of removing the sign altogether.
“He knows what it’s like to deal with latte-sipping, vegan greenies,” Ash relays to Nat.
Tony finally manages to complete the application for the solar panels. Great — except there’s another application to complete for installing them.
Nat returns to the Sir Stanford expert to help with the context sign.
She checks the spelling (it’s double L double S for Wessells) and learns the horse’s name — it’s a slur (watch the episode, we’re not repeating it here).
In the meantime, Four Corners is doing a story on what went wrong with the solar panel scheme. Surely, that’ll cheer Tony up.
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